it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
