i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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