yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
