I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
