Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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