think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
