are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
