i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
