wat bout pragnant strippers??
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
