Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
