you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
