Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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