I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
