i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
