Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
