seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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