oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
