PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
