just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You've changed since you got that strap on
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
