So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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