If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
