hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
