Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
