i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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