She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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