just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
