ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
