Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
