just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
