Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize