She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Randomize