it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I have already put on my inside pants.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
