Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
