dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you would pick up someone in the library
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
