I wish i was in the wii world.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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