i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
