Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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