Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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