I wish i was in the wii world.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
