im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
