You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
