Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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