Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
