we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
