Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
