My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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