My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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