kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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