I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
