When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
