It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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