Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
