fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
