i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
