You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
