Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
